The day I sort of dreaded has come and gone like that second language exam I feared so much as a school-going girl growing up in Singapore. I prepared myself for it as best as I could and on the day itself there were the same mixed feelings: clammy hands, cold sweat, somewhat dreadful apprehension coupled with that torrential relief when it all came to an end.
It wasn’t exactly this year that I’d first arrived at middle age but I still haven’t gotten used to the idea of it and perhaps I never will. I had a great day on my birthday a couple of days ago really, with a very quiet celebration with my very very tiny family here but in all honesty…last week I’ve definitely suffered the birthday blues.
Every single one past the 40 mark has been tough! I’m not sure I’ve grown wiser, only that I’ve certainly grown careful! On my ‘bad days’ of being painfully aware of the enormity of hitting middle age (when the eyes go and the waistline spreads) I know I’ve grown irritable, plagued by new silly inconveniences like reading small print!
Yet I know it’s those moments when I’ve forgotten to be thankful that I’ve ceased to live, that trigger thinking about fruitless things (like anxiety, worry, fear) instead of celebrating another toast to life itself and welcoming another new year full of exciting possibilities that are yet to be.
While men–when faced with the same, usually acquire fast cars, my mid-life impulses are pedestrian and mundane, being confined to yawns like purchasing snake oils that promise to slow the skin morphing into a consistency resembling dried prunes.
I’m determined not to decline all too soon but to transition as gracefully as I possibly can? And to pause and examine where I’ve been, chart where I intend to be, then keep marching on doggedly until I get there. Without falling apart. Hopefully.
I once attended a seminar where the speaker proclaimed ‘middle age as a time to give birth to your true powers’, erm, haha.
Well, praying that this birthday will be another pivotal opportunity to reset and start over, living the best life God has planned for me as He continues to pour out new mercies and impart fresh vision and wisdom for all that He’s calling me to do. True powers birthing forth and all. Thank you for all your kind wishes. The older I get, the more I appreciate these.
Here’s my fully original three-tiered Naked Cake (I’m wondering where I can go to get it patented) which I wanted to share with you as well as an upcoming book review on one of my baking bibles—Lyndel Miller’s NAKED CAKES.
The top tier is 5cm in diameter with 4 mini layers and definitely more time-consuming to get right but what a great way to challenge myself to keep me on my toes!
It’s full of my favourite things: chocolate and salted caramel layers with mocha buttercream & dark chocolate glaze, translucent praline candy with green tea Pocky, more praline studded with clusters of hazelnuts sprinkled with copper glitter dust and caramelised whole macadamias with swirls of edible gold lustre.