Burger customers almost never expect to sense palpable passion stepping into most fast food burger joints manned by aloof-looking kids who are getting younger and younger, they look barely out of diapers. The strange thing is that we hardly take to heart the poker-faced service asking us to upgrade our fries. Staff who smile are a bonus. A trip to any of these ubiquitous gigantic franchises means we expect to be dismissed as quickly as we hand over our cash for a lukewarm brown bun with sesame seeds, leathery patties and soggy fries.
Ever since game changers like some mobile burger food trucks, Grill’d, Miel Container, Miss Kay’s Burger Bars and some others have descended onto our burger scene, the whole gamut of ‘fast food’ burger dining has become elevated to gourmet status—fooling burger lovers into thinking every newly packaged, trendy-looking, edgy-sounding burger place could be worth our sampling if we had a little more spare cash and time to linger.
This being the precise reason we took only less than three minutes to try our luck after a speedy visual evaluation outside Burger Urge at South Bank last weekend. What luck. Turns out ours was as tough as their beef patties, which our six year-old spit out after her first bite with her face scrunched up into a grimace. “I want McDonald’s,mummy.” Her daddy and I exchanged pained looks, knowing her innocent frankness on first bite was always the grand truth 98% of the time.
I glanced ruefully down at my plate of ‘Prime Australian Beef’ attached with the ‘Cheese Louise’ option of toppings—with lettuce, tomato, and onion topped with melted cheddar, tomato chutney and whole egg mayo. The bun looked plain,cold,sans sesame seeds and it wasn’t toasted. I wasn’t hopeful before I even started. My other half ordered the same patty with the ‘Red Hot Chilli Pepper’ option. His face while chewing told me it was no rock star rating and after a bite of my own—we both knew our girl was right. My man gave me his verdict. “This beef tastes like burnt crocodile skin biltong.” I burst out laughing, our only moment of respite from all of this.
God bless the big yellow M on times like these. At least I won’t expect much for the price I paid. At times it can actually be quite satisfying when we’re hungry enough, unlike how I was feeling at Burger Urge—which was just the great urge to cry foul and punch my fist in the air demanding for my money back so I could go to a Maccas drive-through.
Stanley St Plaza, Southbank, Brisbane
Indoor and outdoor terrace seating
OUT OF 10:
TASTE // 2 – Rated by a six and four year-old, and adults have to agree. Maccas next time if the kids are coming. The fries were edible, no fireworks.
AMBIENCE // 6 – We reckon the superhero comic strip wallpaper, panels of rustic, deliberately mismatched wood, naked lightbulbs and a couple of booth seats were for not too bad for the retro American diner-slash-milk bar vibe. Perhaps an effect only marred by the entire perimeter of glass window panes bordered with vinyl duct tape printed with ‘Taste Addiction’. Wait. Taste addiction?
SERVICE // 3 – Gum-chewing indifference detected. Charging for tomato ketchup while gum-chewing indifference is detected, is just gut-wrenching for customers.
SOUL // 1 – Giving zero might not make this review sound objective. Just so our readers won’t think we’re being vindictive, we’re awarding a 1.
COMING BACK // You gotta be kidding, right (weak laugh).Maybe when I take someone I don’t like to lunch.Still, I wouldn’t do that to them.
Disclaimer:This review is purely the personal opinion of the author having sampled the above named burgers at the Burger Urge Southbank outlet at lunch time on 11 April 2015.
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